stats

I realized I never really shared where I got the idea to post my stats every week. Well, allow me to introduce you to Leah. She's an old church friend of mine thats on her own weight loss journey. I highly recommend you check out her blog, Nesting Doll, right now! She's on round 2 of losing over 100 pounds, and she's doing amazing! She's a great writer and really funny, and her blog really encourages me on my journey! Every week, she does "Weigh in Wednesdays." She posts her stats and lists her goals and how she's doing on her journey. This is where I got the idea to start posting my stats every week. Posting my stats gives me a sense of accountability, and it helps me to make good decisions during the week because I know that at the end of the week I've got to post my stats for all to see. 

So here they are for this week: 

Last Week's Weight: 183.2

Current Weight: 184.4

Goal Weight: 150

Weeks Left: 11

As you can see, I gained a pound. I let myself splurge a lot this past week because I was on "vacation" while my mom was visiting, and I wasn't consistently exercising. I actually gained more than 1 pound, but I lost it in the last few days. I've struggled to get back in an exercise routine, but I worked out today (and I NEVER work out on Sundays). I'm also planning this week to start eating more strictly. It's a sacrifice, but I need to be strict if I want to lose the weight. So I'll let you know how that goes. 

Until next time...

a little perspective

Lately, I've been reading "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young during my devotions. Every devotion in the book is from the perspective of Jesus - it written as if He is talking to you. (Side note - I HIGHLY recommend this book!!!) Everyday it seems that the reading for that day is exactly what I need to hear - my God is cool like that.

The last couple of days, I've been struggling with my eating, and I was feeling really down and experiencing a lot of self-pity. This of course, made me want to eat even more unhealthy foods.

Here is today's devotional from "Jesus Calling":

April 26

"Welcome problems as perspective-lifters. My children tend to sleepwalk through their days until they bump into an obstacle that stymies them. If you encounter a problem with no immediate solution, your response to that situation will take you either up or down. You can lash out at the difficulty, resenting it and feeling sorry for yourself. This will take you down into a pit of self-pity. Alternatively, the problem can be a ladder, enabling you to climb up and see your life from My perspective. Viewed from above, the obstacle that frustrated you is only a light and momentary trouble. Once your perspective has been heightened, you can look away from the problem altogether. Turn toward Me, and see the Light of My Presence shining upon you."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18; Psalm 89:15

So good, right?! I was falling into the "pit of self-pity" instead of looking at it from His perspective. This, of course, is easier said than done, but when I look at my problems from his perspective, I'm able to press forward toward my goal, instead of being stuck in the muck of self-pity and resentfulness. Let me be clear - I don't think it's a bad thing to be frustrated with yourself when you mess up - on a diet, in a relationship, whatever. Feeling frustrated means you recognize that you did something wrong and you know you need to change it. This feeling of frustration and/or anger at the problem can lead to the action of fixing the problem. However, if you stay in the frustration and anger stage and don't move to the stage of action to change, you can get stuck in the self-pity stage. This is not a productive stage - in fact, it can be very destructive.

So, I was frustrated and experienced my self-pity, and now it's time to move on from this to action. It's time for me to look at my problem from His perspective. Some of my eating habits are a problem, but they don't have to be obstacles that trip me up - they are obstacles to overcome. They are stepping stones to the end result - they are part of the story, my story. I'm always going to struggle with food, but my relationship with food has changed and continues to change. I still fail. I still struggle. But as long as I turn to the Lord after I fail instead of wallowing in self-pity, I will win and reach my goal.

Lord - give me strength to keep going when I fail. Allow me to experience your power when I don't have my own will-power. Help me to feel a healthy level of frustration when I fail to motivate me to keep going in the right direction, but convict me when I begin to get comfortable in my self-pity. I've come this far, Lord, help me to keep going to the end.

stats update

it's late, so here's a quick update on my stats.

Last Week's Weight: 185.4 lbs

This Week's Weight: 183.2 lbs

Goal Weight: 150 lbs

Weight Loss: 2.2 lbs

Weeks Left: 12 weeks

I haven't quite been at my goal of 2.5 lbs loss each week, but I feel like I've been doing good. So I'm just gonna keep plugging away.

Goodnight.

weekly weigh in

I'm a couple days late, but we moved this weekend, so I didn't get a chance to blog on Saturday.

Yes, we moved. For those that don't know, there was a couple from Skyline Church who moved for the military, and they were letting us live in the house they were short selling. We were living there for very cheap until they sold it. Well, they sold it. We found a cute 2 bedroom condo that was willing to take Ace! (Praise the Lord!!!) It's about 1 mile from the church, and I can see the shopping center where I work from our front stoop. Needless to say, we are blessed, although very tired from the move.

Another fun update while I have you here: I got sick over the weekend. (Ok, maybe "fun" wasn't the word I was looking for). Getting sick the weekend you are to move is not...ideal. I had a high fever Friday night, which broke in the night - again, PRAISE THE LORD! I felt ok on Saturday and was able to help move. Saturday night, though, my hands were feeling tingly. Sunday morning it felt like my hands and feet were asleep. They were tingly and it hurt to use them. Sunday night, I noticed red dots all over my hands and feet. I went to the doctor today and confirmed what I thought - I have hand, foot, and mouth disease. BOO.

My friend's son had this disease last week, and the night before we found out he had it, I had been hugging and kissing on him. So, now I have it. Luckily, I don't feel sick or have the fever anymore, but it hurts to walk or do just about anything with my hands.

So, all that to say - my workouts have mainly consisted of going up and down stairs and carrying boxes for the last 3 days. Which is good because my eating has consisted of pizza and mexican food with some oatmeal and a banana or two.

Here are my stats:

Last Week's Weight: 187 lbs

This Week's Weight: 185.4 lbs

Goal Weight: 150

Weight Loss: 1.6 pounds

Weeks Left: 13 weeks

Not too bad for the week that I moved - although I'm sure the high fever helped burn off a few calories as well. :D

Goodnight, from my new condo!

goals.

Ok.

So I feel like I'm on the home stretch - sort of.

I have less than 40 pounds to lose, and I have a feeling they are going to be hard to lose.

My goal is to lose the rest of my weight by my birthday - July 16th (yes - of this year).

That's a little over 2.5 pounds every week. I know that is a lot, but honestly, I'm ready to be done losing and be in the maintanence stage.

So I need accountability, which is why I'm posting my stats and goals on here - to be kept accountable!

Current Weight: 187lbs

Goal Weight: 150lbs

Weeks Left: 14 weeks

Here's to 14 more weeks!

my journey (so far) in pictures

I recently realized that I hadn't ever posted any pictures of myself during this weight loss journey. So I went back through old pictures to find some to share. Let's just say, some pictures almost brought me to tears because of how big I am in them. It's amazing how I was able to convince myself how I thought I looked. Now, looking back, I was very big and extremely unhealthy. I'm so blessed to be where I am today - losing weight and getting healthier.

So here they are. Sorry, I forgot to take an actual "before" picture when I started losing weight in October 2010, so I found some from earlier in 2010.

Our wedding, 5.23.08. I can't remember my exact weight, but I think I was about 260 lbs and my dress was a size 24.

Trip to Mendocino, CA, May 2010. About 260 lbs.

Paige's Wedding, 1.8.11. 235 lbs. (Liz Wang Photography)

Shay and Haley's Wedding, 5.27.11. 224 lbs.

Mud Run, October 2011. About 216 lbs.

Valentine's Date, 2.12.12. 199-200 lbs.

ONEderland

I find it extremely interesting and slightly ironic that my 100th blog post is about ONEderland.

If you watched season 11 of the Biggest Loser, you have heard of this term, ONEderland, before. If not, allow me to explain it to you.

Definition:

one-der-land (wndr-lnd)* n.: 1) the state of being when one's weight is in the 100s. 2) when the first number on the scale when one is weighing themselves is the number one. 3) the very exciting place one looks forward to being in after being in the 200s for YEARS!

*thefreedictionary.com

YES, i am FINALLY in ONEderland, and it feels oh so good. As of yesterday, I weighed in at 199.0!

As you may have noticed, this is the first time I've shared my actual weight on this blog. I mean, it's not exactly something you shout out from the rooftops. But I feel that now it's important for me to share it because it allows a level of accountability, and even though I'm not at my goal weight yet, I'm so proud of how far I've come and the fact that I'm no longer in the 200s.

Honestly, I have been dreaming about writing this post for a very long time. In the spirit of full disclosure, I hit 199.8 on New Year's Eve, but thanks to a really fun New Year's Eve Party, and my still somewhat unresolved issues with self control as well as the unashamed desire to party it up, I quickly left ONEderland. I plateaued for all of January wavering back and forth between 200 and 201 - it was quite brutal! I've found over my journey that I tend to lose a lot of weight quickly, and then I plateau for a bit, and the cycle continues. (I had lost 10 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years). But now I'm back, and I'm ready to keep moving in the general direction of SKINNY. :D

I haven't posted in so long because I was waiting to be able to write this post. To be honest, I was embarrassed that it took me so long to get into the 100s when I was so close for so long. I'm planning to be more consistent with writing about my journey because it keeps me accountable. By writing about my journey, it's out there for the world (or whoever actually reads this) to read and there's no going back.

But right now, there's no sulking or would of, should of, could of's, or thinking about how far I still have to go. Right now, in this moment - it's time to celebrate.

Celebrate that I've lost a total of 61 pounds. Celebrate that my relationship with food and exercise is changing. Celebrate the fact that I usually can't find anything to wear because my clothes continue to be too big. Celebrate the fact that I'm down 3 jeans sizes, and I'm almost into a 4th. Celebrate that I'm more educated on nutrition, health, and exercise. Celebrate that I'm in better shape than I have ever been in my teenage and adult life. Celebrate that I jogged for 25 minutes straight (although I haven't yet been able to do it again, ha.) Celebrate that I'm getting healthier and stronger, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

I know I still have a ways to go, about 50 more pounds or so (remember, full disclosure here). But I'm excited. Getting into the 100s has given me a mental boost of energy that I needed to tackle the second half of this journey.

Thank you to all who have encouraged me, supported me, given me advice, or have simply listened to my story from a distance. I can't wait to keep sharing my story as it unfolds.

Mmm - onederland. :D